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Broken From the Shackles of Xbox Live?

no-more-xbox-live

I don’t know how, but over the last month or so, I just haven’t been playing any Xbox. Even with the excitement of Destiny right around the corner, I have no interest in going up there and turning it on (still bat***t crazy about it coming out in general though). I have a pile of games I haven’t even opened yet. Halo? COD? None of it lights that gamer flame to lure me in. Could it be that I somehow calmy removed the gaming shackles to enjoy a little more of reality? Was the flame blown out? Is it just a phase? Only time will tell.

I think it’s a good thing that I haven’t hid behind the Xbox with all of my free time though this summer.

During the same time, I have focused more on a pilgrimage about getting outside and doing dangerous things (hiking, rappelling, now ascending and other crazy fun acts) as if I need to get something out of my system. As well as working on investments and expanding my portfolio(*s). My book for example sold it’s first copy within an hour of newly being online in the Kindle store (right on!).

With having little to zero work in my main field for two months (and knowing that until next week, it will continue this way), I have had to do everything possible to keep my mind busy.  Earlier in the year, so many indefinably wonderful things were happening all at once, that a pedestal grew rapidly with pride and encouragement (a positive one). To mention a few, I experienced gains, unlimited work and blindly developed interests that I have never felt my life. Then, almost all at once, life threw every possible curveball to not just push me around, but completely knock that pedestal down sending me flying towards the ground in a massive face plant. Everything I built up this year with positive anticipation, was gone.

A test from God? Maybe. Why? Don’t know. What I do know, is I am still standing on these two feet. Even with almost everything taken away work-wise (in my main field), I still have alternative income coming in that is paying the bills. Even with the abnormally-crazy and unfortunate amount of death or general loss of friends and “more-than-friends”, I still have the most amazing family. No matter how many times I get knocked down, I will always stand back up and face the challenges of this world. It can have that pedestal (although…I really preferred that one)…I’ll just build another, and another….and another. Eventually, I will build another one that is just as wonderful and I won’t have to worry about it falling down. I still have faith.

Hiding behind the Xbox vs doing something about it wouldn’t have helped with anything. So I couldn’t have asked for a better time to completely lose interest in it.

This Saturday I will be hiking to the peak of Mt Charleston (the highest peak in NV at nearly 12,000ft altitude, and most difficult hike I will have conquered since we are taking the hard route). Challenged by a new friend who volunteers there, I couldn’t turn her challenge down. I may not be able to move for a few days after, but it will be worth every step, climb, drop and hop. I’ll be bringing out all the gear since there is a chance we may be forced to camp it if we can’t complete the trek in one day (as well as the advil to counter the altitude sickness [AMS] that could come with it).

On top of that, some other friends have dedicated themselves to the idea of sky diving, and doing it sooner than later. All the actions cams will come out for that one.

Sorry Xbox…but you’re going to have to sit this one out.

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Comments (9)

  1. Avatar photo AmandaLee

    Hey J!

    Saw this post in the feed and registered. I should have used the Facebook option because I can’t figure out how to create an avatar now. 🙁

    If anyone can make a come back, it’s you. I have known you for so many years and I can say I have never met a nicer person that doesn’t come with a kooky concomitant catch. I heard through Jason how your fish got away. I am so sorry. He said he did point out the warning signs showing she didn’t really seem interested (or “ready”) in a relationship and how boggled he was that she kept the connection regardless (kind of nice having a psych professor as a friend sometimes). Maybe she was toying with you?

    He was saying that via email, you “painted an image in your head detailing the kind of girl she was and simply fell hard” (Now, I have heard of first sight, but email?). Then you met her and just dropped your anker. I’m super glad to know it was your anker and not your pants btw. Thank you for not becoming one of those boys.

    Was that your first “fall”? I was trying to read in between the lines. If so, maybe that means you should move up north somewhere. Maybe the “kind of girl” you are looking for is most likely to be there?

    I was just talking to him yesterday on the phone. He may be moving his business to Vegas next year. That would be super awesome!!!! We could all hover around again.

    Call me. We should hang out. I’ll buy dinner 🙂

    A

    • Avatar photo AmandaLee

      Oh no. I posted my comment and it reversed all my formatting. Took away my indented PPs and everything. You should fix that!

    • Hey Amanda,

      lol, thank you. Yes, that would have been the first, although “fall” sounds a bit extreme. Beyond a simple like? Yes. I’ve had a few crushes in life, but that was an eye opener. I am sure he also told you I was stubborn about my responses (felt like I was talking to a therapist and he knows I hate it when he tries doing that). It was the first time in my 32 years of existence that I pointed a girl out and said “her!”. I like this painting a picture metaphor he gave you though lol. Really, I actually told him that in prayer I have described the perfect girl (my definition at least..nothing is 100% perfect). In email she met almost every bullet point of that description. In person, she seemed to continue that description. She is also remarkably beautiful on top of that. I got excited, I grew blinded, I treated his advice with little weight (even though deep down, I knew she wasn’t as interested in the idea because she never talked about it [we talked about literally everything but that…except for me….I’m a romantic tool]). She is also so….so far away. Still, I thought our interests and personalities connected on so many levels. It “flabbergasted” me lol. Distance and everything else, the signs were there but I wanted to rely on faith that it could work out and develop into something…cause she was really cool (really cool), and so creative. Due to various things she has experienced through other people in her life though (that I won’t mention), I don’t think it would have ever happened. It might have soiled her attitude on the subject. I don’t know…

      I was even willing to watch Adventure Time with her. I had a list of things to do, and that was an item I told her I wasn’t willing to say out loud while reading them off lol (I also never mentioned what that item was).

      All I know, is that after communicating back and forth for year (the following month would have been a year), I threw my arm around her and she said I was moving too fast and *poof*, she was gone. Maybe there was too much of “me” as well. We only had a week’s time to hang out, so I guess I tried squeezing in 3 months of “since last episode” within that window as I didn’t know when I’d be able to see her again.

      I don’t think she is interested though in creating a life of her own by getting close to anyone. She was comfortable with what she had living at home with family and nothing else will replace that. That’s what I got out of it at least. Too bad…it would have been nice to have met my match. Kind of feels like anything from here on out would just be second best. Either that, or a sign that my type of girl actually does exist in this world. Still, how I’ll be able to match up that many bullet points a second time…

      As for moving up north…maybe that was part of the test. More like a lesson. That I won’t find what I am looking for in Vegas (*ever*). Problem is I am far too locked down to Vegas. I have an amazing career, I have a house, I have goals and I can actually meet those goals. I have more family members here than I can shake a stick at. I have everything to offer someone in a relationship (if a relationship were to reach that level). If I moved, I would have nothing to offer but myself (and many many years of education and career building would be gone). Of course that also depends on where I move, if I were to move. Vegas is the city of entertainment. Up north are the cities of…small towns, shipping towns, fishing towns and so forth (not so much unlimited work within my field, near-guaranteed comfort, etc). Who knows. All I know, is I just dropped a LOT of money to build this house. I am not walking away from that. I am who I am, and this is what I have to offer. *shrug*

      As for the comment system, I apologize that my blog here doesn’t meet your formatting standards. I don’t quite think indenting your paragraphs is so important in comments though lol. Also, it is “anchor” not “anker”. 😛

      A regular account here uses Gravatar to determine your avatar. You can however still add your own right here. You have to click on your profile settings up top to the right. Scroll down and there should be an upload field.

      I have a lot of free time this week, so I’ll be in touch. Good to hear Jason may be coming back to town.

  2. Avatar photo AmandaLee

    I had to consult my phone to find out about Adventure Time. My little niece watches that. Not much of a fan here. Everyone has their thing though.

    Well, if she wasn’t toying with you and truly liked you, she may call one day once she has a better grasp on her life. Maybe this year, or maybe next. You never know. Guys like you are next to impossible to come by, and aren’t easy to forget. 🙂

    Of course, if she doesn’t, I could always set you up with my cousin. She is super super nice.

    • I would have called back but I’m sick as a dog right now and trying to kick it before my hike on Sat >_< (giving my throat a rest). As I mentioned in the previous comment...I don't think she wants that. However, If she does call, great. I told her that she knows where I am. She has my number, my email...heck, she knows more about me than anyone else I have ever dated [or tried dating?] (outside of the *one* "serious" relationship I have ever been in some years ago), and more than half or more of my friends. And no thanks. I am going to take a break from that again and just go back to my boring life and....well...work. That's all I know for now until I find something better to spend my time with.

      • Avatar photo AmandaLee

        ? How old is she?…Maybe Jason should talk to her…

        Don’t ever change J.

        • Hey, be nice. She seemed honest and concerned, and gave a reasonable cause to her decision. She is a good person; a wonderful person. You can’t just ask someone to change their entire life around. I moved out of my parents house towards the end of college, so I have a number of years now of being on my own. Once you have moved out, you tighten up quickly and start walking your own path in life and have a better idea of what you are looking for. She hasn’t experienced that yet, so she is just a late bloomer, that’s all. I knew what I was looking for….someone like her (without a doubt…minus a few pets). Maybe she doesn’t know what she wants in life. Maybe she doesn’t want to walk her own path (maybe she just wants to stay with family for the duration of her life)..I can’t say. She is her own person.

          I won’t change. Why be like all the other guys in my gene pool if I can be original and keep it real 😉

          Depressed at my luck in life maybe, but I don’t plan on changing. Drastically at least. I might slow down on being so nice and giving to people. I really need to put that characteristic in check. I’ve spent my entire life wanting to be Mr Nice Guy, but in the end, the nice guy simply gets ran over, walked all over, used or passed on. If I want to get any further in life, I may have to start grabbing life by the balls a little firmer.

          I have a lot of blessings in life (house, money, career, etc), but none of it means anything as I realize I have nothing (none of that stuff brings true happiness). Standing next to Kristin and spending a day with her, knowing everything I learned about her in email/txt…brought happiness (at least when her head wasn’t buried in her cellphone at least…that was awkward and premonition-ed what was coming next when she cut things off). Today (Sept 6th) would have marked the first time I had ever contacted her (via email). I don’t know how I remember that so clearly. I simply have to find that happiness again…just with someone who is ready to walk their own path in life (hopefully).

          Well, I’m off to continue with my being sick and moping around the house mad at the fact that I couldn’t go on my hike today >_<. Stupid sinus infection....#$^$%&%^&#%*#%^U@$%^@$%^#$&%#%^#%*%^ this #$^$%. #krizzistin, #LifeSucksSomeTimes, #lol, #IhateBeingSick, #YouMomWasRated-E-ForEveryone, #IamSoBoredRightNow...Obviously

          • Avatar photo AmandaLee

            You really have the gift of a writers touch. I can’t keep up with your replies. That’s a lot to respond to. I’ll respect your wishes, but I still say something isn’t what it seems. If what you say is true, and assuming she is around your age, she should more than know what she wants out of life. If she was enjoying the home life with no responsibilities to worry about, then she would have either never have accepted the ticket to come out (knowing that she wasn’t looking for a relationship) or she would be out mining for gold and not keeping at home with family (and thus not being what you are looking for). I bet there is more to it, but if you insist, then I will let it go cause I don’t know if I want to be angry at her, sympathetic or confused. If you felt that boldly about her, then I might ruin a friendship with what I might say. Maybe I am completely wrong, and your positivity wins again. The universe works itself in unexplainable ways.

            If you need anything let me know. I can run by some soup, medicine or a hug to help with your bug situation. Just don’t cough in my direction 🙂

            When you are feeling better, lets all get together and see a movie. I am still buying you dinner too. I’ll invite my cousin as well. You don’t have to befriend her or anything, but you can at least meet her. She has been wanting to meet you….so….

          • Behave…

            Not every girl is a gold digger or someone with a dark secret. Thank god. Except or the girls here in town at least…

            Shouldn’t even be talking about any of this here. You know you can message me directly…or txt me like a normal friend. 🙂 Plus…I have unlimited text messaging now. I acquired it sometime in May when my messages went WAY over my 1500 limit. Now I don’t know what to do with it though because I can’t go back (I was grandfathered into the 1500 so they won’t let me have it back, so I’m stuck paying extra for life now >_< frackin AT&T). Thankfully I am working mad this week and next, but I'm free Sunday night. Friday I am doing the Charleston Peak hike with Amy. I tried to get Mike to go but he buggered out. No one else was available so I guess it's just us. If my cousin didn't skip town, I'm sure he would have tagged along. Oh well, one friend is better than none. Still a little coughy but I'm good. 🙂 Now, this convo ends (at least here). Text me so that I can make use of my plan lol...

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