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So I watched Tusk (Kevin Smith’s new movie) and…

tusk-dvd-cover-93Wow. All I can say is wow…in the most awkward of ways. Kind of when I watched “Pi” for the first (and only time) and fell asleep half way through it without any regret. Or made the mistake of watching Chris Angel’s “Believe” show in Vegas when it first opened…for free (comped tickets), and yet still badly in need of a refund. I cannot remove the sour images in my mind that is the movie Tusk. Sour as in the many thoughts racing within, focused on the fact that I just wasted that movie-length portion of my life for nothing. A blind faith, created by the smoke screen of awesome movies that Kevin Smith has created in the past; skewed my judgement, causing me to believe that although the trailer made this movie seem like it could most likely be horrible….maybe it wasn’t. I sat there with one member of my prestigious family who joined my movie endeavors, in shock, as the credits made their way across the screen. Slithering through the cesspool of a creation while music plays in the background until Kevin’s Smodcast is played in the background, highlighting the moment from when the movie was first conceived within his unique mind. Almost felt like it poked fun at the fact that someone actually watched this blubbering booby of a creation. Why…why Kevin? Why have you done this? We as fans, sat through and accepted the horror of Jersey Girl, as even it was tolerable and had its moments. This movie however, has no redemption. No return. A prize on the wall for an abstract pile of mutilated feces. Please….don’t try that again. Go back to what you do best, and run from the less. Return us to the gold that is…Kevin Smith.

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